HTTYD AU: Square peg, Round hole

“The arena will need to be reinforced.” Gobber gave his chief an indulging look “I see. Afraid the Zippleback will get out whatever hole the wee beasty crawled through?” Stoick threw up his hands “That’s just it Gobber we’ve no idea how it got out. The last thing we need is more dragons.” “Actually I’m pretty sure we need a new Terrible Terror. Now don’t you have an expedition to plan? A son to talk to?” Stoick surrendered for the moment. He wasn’t looking forward to that last part. Talking to Hiccup had always been like they might as well have been having the conversation in two different languages and he did not speak Hiccup. Not well at least. Never mind he’d been giving him these looks since the night before.

         He entered his home that night to the sound of some rather creative curses and Hiccup on the ground. “Dad!” he got up and set out a rather lovely dinner “I heard you were going to Helheim’s Gate tomorrow.” Hiccup still hadn’t looked at him “Do you have a plan?” “Oh we’ll find it and when we do not a dragon will be left alive!” Hiccup flinched, but quickly Stoick chalked it up to what he had to say next “So, no plan. A nest said to contain hundred, probably thousands of dragons and your going with the good old ways. What if there’s a dragon you’ve never seen before? What if the Night Fury finally shows up? Or the Zipplebacks all grab their tails between their teeth, light themselves, and come barreling toward you at break neck speed?” He cut off his father’s protests off in a commanding tone Stoick had never heard before “It could happen. Just because the it’s the way things have been done doesn’t mean they can’t be done better.”

    He handed his father a metal whistle “It mimics a dragon’s distress call. If they can hear it than they’ll clear out. Yes it works. I tested it on a flock of terrible terrors that were on the outskirts earlier today. Phlegma, Hoark, and Starkard can all vouch for me. Just, you don’t have to trust me, but please take it?” Stoick took the whistle a little concerned by the whole display ‘He stand up for himself like this to Snotlout and they might end up friends yet.’ “You start dragon training tomorrow.” He stated matter-of-factly. The look brewing behind Hiccup’s eyes was hard to describe, “Do you honestly think I can kill something. Not just physically, do you honestly believe I could swing down the proverbial axe when the time came.” He wasn’t even talking about dragons. Hiccup had never killed anyone or thing nor did he want to. “We’re Vikings son. We fight, be it in war with dragons or each other.” Hiccup gave a reproachful look “Oswald the Agreeable hasn’t been to war in decades. He’s living proof diplomacy can work.” ‘Right until the second Dagur kills him.’ But he wasn’t about to tell his father that.

    Stoick sighed “And what of the dragons. Your mother rest her soul,” Hiccup was speechless his father had never talked about his mother before “She believed their was another way with those foul beasts. Got her carried off by some four winged monstrosity.” ‘and eaten’ was implied. “Funny, because the way the rest of the village tells it she was trying to keep the dragon away from me. A mother protecting her child seems somewhat separate from some quest for peace with large fire-breathing reptiles.” He smiled brightly “Anyway,” he changed gears “It’s not totally crazy. Hear me out! Finding some kind of dragon repellent” he gestured to the whistle “would do a lot more to keep the village safe than even a hundred axes.”

    Stoick got up from the table and began marching with speed and purpose straight out the door. Hiccup sighed. “GOBBER!” to his credit he waited until Gobber swallowed the latest bite of his meal “Can I help you Stoick? Did things go alright with Hiccup?” his response was a murderous glare and a murderous tone “Why did you tell him about his mother?” Gobber was at an utter loss “Dad! Whoa, whoa let’s not murder the one armed man here. What is going on here? You march out of the house like- what is wrong? Is what I’m trying to say.” Gobber extricated himself from the space Stoick had since invaded “Hiccup why does you father think I told you about your mum?” the younger Viking groaned, “Because you and he are the only two people who I ever really talk to for long periods of time. What he has not taken into account is that it does not that it does not take an extended amount of time to say ‘by the way your mom died for you’. I’m actually almost surprised that was accurate since I got that from the Twins. Who for all I know heard it from the avatar of Loki that passes for their brains.”

    Of course that wasn’t where he’d learned that, but as confusion was a fairly natural state for Ruff and Tuff to be in no one would question it when they had no idea what he was talking about. ‘I definitely should have just smiled and nodded when he brought up Mom. He’s already tense enough since we let out Sharpshot.’ Hiccup had sent terrible terrors to all corners of the archipelago and beyond with messages to the various tribes and other people he’d encountered ‘Like Mom.’ The next step after Green Death was build up and fortify for Drago’s army. Of course unless someone else remembered what they did the most of Terror Mail would go unanswered.

    ‘I am going to have to deal with a sixteen year old Dagur the Deranged, again. Thor strike me down!’