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Literature
Vampire AU AU Parental Nightmare
‘I really hope he doesn’t ask where I got his address from.’ Jack hadn’t come up with a good lie for that yet. This was not what he wanted his next meeting with Hiccup to be ‘Your goddamn twins have been talking to some Hiccup Halibut. Do something before this mess gets any bigger.’ He was honestly lucky Doom stuck out his neck out this far ‘Little Cutie must have made one hell of an impression.’ Within the Haddock house their were two no two heartbeats. ‘That’s a nice strong pulse you’ve got there Mr. Haddock.’ Yeah that’s a compliment that tended to go over well ‘…A~and we have Hiccup. Second floor, fast asleep.’ Jack floated to the boy’s window and opened the unlocked window. The last thing he was expecting was a sudden heavy impact to the skull the moment he came in. The minute he was on the floor there was a dagger to his heart and a lit flamethrower in his face. “Why
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Literature
Vampire AU AU Playing in Traffic
“I’m starving!” he turned to the “alleged vampire” “Don’t pretend you aren’t!” Hookfang shot him a look of amused disbelief “I ate while you were sleeping. If you’re hungry either learn how to hunt or go home. Go to that uncle you keep muttering about.” Snotlout glared death at him. “That door, my last door closed about a year ago. I’m under serious threat of going to one of those “troubled teen” camps. My uncle’s talked him down from it more than once, but it’s been a nearer miss each time and recent events haven’t been kind to him. I do not want to be psychologically or even physically abused in some desert in Utah by an idiot with less training than my Boy Scout troop leader! Do you know how many people die in those things!?”
         Snotlout was panting like he ran a marathon clearly distressed maybe even on t
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Literature
HTTYD AU: Square peg, Round hole
“The arena will need to be reinforced.” Gobber gave his chief an indulging look “I see. Afraid the Zippleback will get out whatever hole the wee beasty crawled through?” Stoick threw up his hands “That’s just it Gobber we’ve no idea how it got out. The last thing we need is more dragons.” “Actually I’m pretty sure we need a new Terrible Terror. Now don’t you have an expedition to plan? A son to talk to?” Stoick surrendered for the moment. He wasn’t looking forward to that last part. Talking to Hiccup had always been like they might as well have been having the conversation in two different languages and he did not speak Hiccup. Not well at least. Never mind he’d been giving him these looks since the night before.
         He entered his home that night to the sound of some rather creative curses and Hiccup on the ground. “Dad!” he got up and set out a
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Literature
A Turducken of Questions
Why phone? Why do hate me?’ removing the pillow from his head the sun came into view ‘Conspiring with bright lights I see.’ “Hello?” still half buried in covers it sounded more like ‘helphulf’ “Hiccup? We’re going to the library today? Is your head alright?” Hiccup scoffed “I’m not that asleep! Was that today? What is today?” “Sunday.” ‘Apparently our library is opened Sundays. Do libraries do that?’ Hiccup yawned “Okay Toothless I’ll see you in… what time is it?” Noah chuckled “Now or when we leave? The answer to both is five minutes ago, but that was flexible to begin with so if you could let me in?” Hiccup jumped from the bed and rushed down stairs and all, but ripped his front door open. Noah glanced to his side having not even put away his phone them smiled warmly “You know you’re in your boxers right?” the cussing that
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Literature
This... this is Berk?
“This… this is Berk?” the warcries, the dragon roars, the sounds, and sights, and smells were all familiar to him: A Dragon Raid. Where were their dragons? Looking all around his hands made contact with something metal and wood. “I’ve… had this nightmare before.” His voice was one of utter confusion his need to know the hows and whys of things overriding the immense foreboding building under the surface. His bola launcher and the monstrous nightmare that destroyed it. Fully engulfed in flames no less. Hiccup smiled fondly at the dragon approaching with respect and putting his hand. The dragon doused itself unusually fast. Hiccup looked it over in disbelief “Hookfang?”
         He heard shouts growing closer, not much time. “Find Toothless or else meet me in the Cove. Now go!” he likewise ran off in the direction he first found his other half. “HICCUP!” he heard his fath
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Literature
Vampire AU AU Lake Haunting
“Why couldn’t it be the Twins? Any twins? I’d settle for the Olsen twins right now?” Hiccup was so scared he’d stopped making sense. He was also soaking wet. It was real! The Doomfang was real! ‘And I’m pretty sure we pissed him or her… or hir off.’ He clung to Toothless shaking the unconscious man fervently ‘Please. Please don’t have a concussion’ that was the last thing they needed. They couldn’t even escape like this not that they’d be much better off if Noah was awake. ‘How does one escape a subterranean cavern beneath a lake?’ “Please stop this. We don’t want to hurt you.” He held out a stake in the form Toothless had taught him just in case.
         “That’s your first problem kid.” The voice came from above him “he” was there perched on the rock they’d taken cover behind “You assume I d
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Literature
Vampire AU AU Stranger Danger
“So can vampires eat dogs?” Hiccup asked sincerely curious. Hookfang stood there considering the dog “I don’t think we can’t not eat them?” He put the dog down “Not sure. I was Loud not too long ago. Figured it was worth a shot.” “Loud?” Hiccup asked and in answer Hookfang simply tapped the left side of his chest. Noah grimaced “So that would make you “Quiet” now?” he fought to keep his tone even. Hookfang read his distress as disgust and took offence “You haven’t changed.” It sounded more like a condemnation than an insult. “You here for your nightly ‘fun’.” Hookfang spat looking Noah up and down. Toothless realized he was being searched for weapons and raised his hands up in a pacifying gesture “Honestly I’m following this little suicidal idiot’s lead-” “Hey!” “-and… take it away Hiccup.”
   
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Literature
Vampire AU AU All Tied up in Knotts
‘I have pissed off at least one deity.’ Somehow or another Hiccup was now tied up and at the mercy of the vampire he had a crush on. “There’s a Twilight joke in here somewhere.” Hiccup deadpanned. “And I’ll thank you not to make it.” suddenly the annoyed smirk Jack sported turned smug “Wait, so does that mean you’re hopelessly in love with me?” Hiccup scowled “Actually, I was calling you a creep.” Jack scowled right back “Whatever, cutie. Are you going to answer my question or not?” Hiccup looked a bit incredulous “Wait. That was a serious question? Is sparing someone really that weird? Is bite/stake repeat until your dead-dead the only thing that goes on here!?” at some point he’d begun shouting. Jack not impressed simply snorted “Of course not, Cutie. It is way way more complicated then that. Naturally. I asked about why you spared me.” H
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Literature
Vampire AU AU This Small Town
“Jesus Christ, Hiccup! You look like Dad on Christmas!” the older boy ran up behind him and slapped his back way to hard on maybe purpose. Hiccup stumbled a little, but managed to keep walking “Passed out on the couch?” Hiccup was the one of the few who’d make light of Dagur or his unique holiday problems. Dagur started fights with other people who did it, but when it was Hiccup he laughed. “He’s already planning things isn’t he?” the smaller boy asked. Dagur spun a grin splitting his face and began walking backwards “No, planning started in July. Thanksgiving planning started in May.” His tone was light and teasing, but knowing Ozzie Amity’s devotion to charity he was probably telling the truth.
    Hiccup laughed along regardless “Well there might be someone new to join us at the Eleanor this year.” Dagur frowned raising an eyebrow “Someone new?” He tried not to sound t
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Literature
Vampire AU AU Out for a Wind Walk
‘Stupid Hiccup and his stupid puppy-dog eyes.’ Noah wasn’t happy not at all. But he promised Hiccup they’d try things his way and Noah damn well knew if he refused to come along Hiccup would just go out and do this on his own and get hurt. ‘The only other alternative is walking up to his dad and going “Hi I know we’ve never met, but I’m the guy who’s been hanging around abandoned places in the middle of the night with your underage son can you please help me protect him from vampires?” If I’m lucky I’ll be locked in a padded cell and not put on the sex offender list and arrested.’
         Never mind he hadn’t done anything, but people get weird when it comes to adults hanging out with kids. ‘I probably should have taken this into account when choosing someone eight years my junior as a hunting partner.’ Though tonight at least they weren’
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Literature
Vampire AU AU: An Accomplice
‘Here goes nothing.’ Hiccup gulped. “So I ran into the twins today…”
Noah whirled on a dime and began manually checking Hiccup over for injuries “What happened? Are you hurt? What did they do to-”
“Whoa, Toothless slow down nothing happened and I’m fine!”
The older boy stopped dead and just look at Hiccup “‘nothing happened’? I know it was the twins, but they aren’t that incompetent!”
Hiccup sighed ‘Will he even believe me’. There was only one way to find out “They did attack at first and I dodged, but pretty quick in I don’t really remember honestly. Um, I think I apologized for tricking Ruffnut- Now I remember I said I ‘preferred my blood where it was’ and they were all ‘Then why are you hunting’ and I explained what actually happened that night and we just started talking.”
“Talking?” Toothless said thunderstruck “Pu
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Literature
Vampire AU AU: Talk Nutts
‘Where’s Noah when you need him!’ Hiccup thought desperately as he dodged frantically. Caught by the Thorston Twins ‘Nope not dying like this too embarrassing.’ He called out to the girl Ruffnut “I’m really sorry about earlier. It’s just I really like my blood where it is ya know.” She smiled and the twins stopped they’re attacks for the moment while Hiccup panted. “Okay, if you wanted that why become a vampire hunter?” her bother asked. Hiccup was relieved talking he could talk all day fighting not so much “I’ve been meaning to clear that up. I actually wasn’t a hunter let alone Toothless’ partner when we first met.” The twins glanced at each other confused and Ruff called out “Nice try! No one just excepts vampires are real just like that doesn’t happen and the way you too worked together…” she trailed off as Hiccup started to laugh. “I’m so
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Activity


‘I really hope he doesn’t ask where I got his address from.’ Jack hadn’t come up with a good lie for that yet. This was not what he wanted his next meeting with Hiccup to be ‘Your goddamn twins have been talking to some Hiccup Halibut. Do something before this mess gets any bigger.’ He was honestly lucky Doom stuck out his neck out this far ‘Little Cutie must have made one hell of an impression.’ Within the Haddock house their were two no two heartbeats. ‘That’s a nice strong pulse you’ve got there Mr. Haddock.’ Yeah that’s a compliment that tended to go over well ‘…A~and we have Hiccup. Second floor, fast asleep.’ Jack floated to the boy’s window and opened the unlocked window. The last thing he was expecting was a sudden heavy impact to the skull the moment he came in. The minute he was on the floor there was a dagger to his heart and a lit flamethrower in his face. “Why in the blue hell do you have a flamethrower in your bedroom!” His attacker yawned “Wasn’t sure if a Loud person was breaking in or not. Tricky part was lighting this thing up from a dead sleep.”

    ‘Did he just say “Loud”?’ “Could of sworn Hookfang was trying to kill your partner?” another yawn “Yup! But his verbage is actually really useful. Pretty cool dude if he wasn’t so hell bent on… I don’t suppose if I got them to beat each other bloody without killing one another it’d work things out on it’s own?” Jack gave him an incredulous look. Hiccup couldn’t tell if it was because he was casually having this conversation while still holding his weapons in place. He decided to douse the flame and helped Jack onto the bed when a herd of buffalo seemed to be coming down the hall. “HICCUP!!!” Stoick Haddock gave a roar that made all other occupants of the house jump a good foot. Hiccup pushed Jack out the window while to the vampires immense confusion he began roasting a marshmallow with his blowtorch. Before he could ask why Hiccup doused the torch and got up just as his father began to pound mightily on his bedroom door. “Yeah Dad?” he said chewing on half a marshmallow. Jack kept out of sight of the windows, but he could hear Hiccup’s father moving around the room, checking under the bed, sniffing the air. “I told you not to light that thing when you should be in bed.” The blowtorch was apparently for things other than vampires “No, you said I couldn’t make new “gadgets” after bed. This is a marshmallow. I did not invent these.” Stoick sighed, but didn’t argue. Eventually Hiccup managed to convince his father he was having trouble sleeping and was making a snack when “Mom’s frying pan” fell of the nightstand.

    When the coast was clear Jack reentered the room. Low and behold there was a frying pan. He rubbed the back of his head “You know most people cook with those?” Hiccup snorted “Nice try. I’ve been timing vampire healing on the all too accommodating Ruffnutt and Tuffnutt. I’m beginning to think they’re genuine masochists.” Jack broke out in a sweat “Why?” he didn’t squeak, he swears. “Huh? Oh, Jesus! I seriously never told you, did I?!” Hiccup broke into an enthusiastic explanation “So guess what? Not a hunter anymore and technically neither is Noah. He’s “chief in charge of us not getting eaten” not that he’s had to deal with any… wait no Hookfang definitely attacked… and Doomfang did kind of knock him for a loop.”

     Jack was only more confused as he continued eventually clearing his throat “You have yet to explain why you’re seeking out vampires if not to kill them?” Hiccup flopped on his bed “Right. I’m Sorry. It’s just you’re kind of why I started this. I want to prevent as much death as I can and not just for us pulse having people. I’m not strong or fast, but I can think and talk my way out of a lot so why not put that to good use. I want to see if a little understanding and dialogue can do something about all of this fighting.”

    Jack laughed something Hiccup clearly didn’t expect “Because no one in the entire history of vampires has tried to change things?” Hiccup puffed up defensively “Everything ever done was impossible until proved otherwise!” that just made Jack laughed harder, but this time it was because he found Hiccup so utterly adorable “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I never actually said it was impossible. I mean you wouldn’t know it by looking at them, but the main group of hunters has a vampire or two on staff.” He didn’t bother to see if Hiccup had known that “Lord knows you’re already shaking things up for good or for ill. You got Doomfang very angry.” Hiccup cringed a little “In the drag me into the lake and in a not here for tea kind of way?” Jack marveled at the implication that Doomfang had let both Hiccup and Noah live knowing where he lived.

     “So aren’t you like older than… radio?” for all he’d heard about Hiccup’s questions Jack wasn’t quite sure where this was going with this “I’m about three hundred approximately.” Hiccup didn’t look even a little surprised “Then why do you keep hitting on me then? You know I’m fourteen, right?” Jack was chagrinned but tried to play it off “Not your exact age, no. If I’ve made you uncomfortable I’m sorry. As to why? Well after three centuries the idea of waiting four years for something isn’t terribly daunting. And yeah I was mostly just doing it to get your goat at first, but… well you’ve been one surprise after another Hiccup. Anyway they say it takes about four years to really know someone and I’d like to get to know you?”

    “See, you should lead with that.” His ears were pink and when Jack noticed his unbeating heart managed to do a little flop. “But my dad can’t know anything about this!” Jack looked slightly uncomfortable “No! I meant vampires! I can’t lose him too…”

    Hiccup jumped a little when a pair of cold hands grabbed his and squeezed “Hiccup, just from the sound of him I can already guess that guy snoring down the hall can probably deadlift you… like one handed. He is only in danger of… of burying his child.”

    They didn’t talk for a long time after that. Hiccup never let go of his hands so neither did Jack. “Who else is actually in danger?” he finally asked. Jack flinched back “Everyone always. I mean I never got how everyone is always so shocked by that. I mean sure jumping at every shadow-” “Wow, hi? Stop.” Hiccup put his hands on Jack’s shoulders ““We are small fleeting specks in an uncaring world” Jack… records don’t lie… Burgess-” “Hiccup, No! You can’t! He’ll definitely-” Jack took a shaky breath, “There is no Burgess.” The tears threating to spill over said otherwise.

    Hiccup tried not to freak ‘What scares a three hundred year old vampire this much?’ “Okay, Jack.” He looked to the window “Little close to sunrise for this meeting? I know you day walk, but don’t you have people who worry?” Jack frowned deeply climbing onto Hiccup’s window ledge ‘More fishing? I honestly don’t think it’s even on purpose.’ “Keep to the dead guys who are still moving. Bodies get buried for a reason.”

    “Is that how you think of yourself Jack?” he searched the vampires face for the answer “Dead? Or alive?” from his tone he wasn’t talking about his pulse or even his humanity. A short bitter snicker was his response “Hiccy stick to the science!” Jack still smiled in spite himself “Dime store psychology aside… if you live to hit eighteen… well we’ll see where we are then won’t we?”

    When Jack hit the ground he wasn’t expecting a familiar face sitting on an old tire-swing. Sitting proper like a little china doll in her Sunday best was a girl with white hair “So when will I meet this boy?” a smile, a real one precious and rare. He laughed and smiled in a way that didn’t reach his eyes “We’ll see, if the kid lives.” She floated weightlessly from the swing wrapping her arms around her brother’s shoulders. He cried inspite of himself, fell to his knees so his sister touched the ground. She held on tight stroking at his back, because she knew it was all she could do ‘I don’t know if I can keep you safe this time, Jack.’

Vampire AU AU Parental Nightmare
Parental Nightmare (or rather a previous draft there of) is one of the first things I ever wrote for this and why wouldn't it be the original comic focuses way more on the love story so I started from ther. It was so hard for me to perfect this thing because well, 300+14= a little more than cradle robbing. Don't get me started on the rapey overtones. Finding the right tone for the romance portion was always tough for me. It halped a lot once I had the surrounding stuff hammered out and just basically who my Jack was.

Emma! I hate to be that person, but I totally saw "Jack's sister is a vampire" coming, because why the heck wouldn't she be. The difference however is everything! Emma Overland is not the little girl she used to be. I love child immoratals! Everyones always terribly sad at the idea that they can never "grow up" and I get that and empathize. But on the other hand I see no reason what so ever why they can't grow mentally and emotionaly. Perhaps not like an ordinary person would, I mean most would still treat them like children in ignorance. But that's all the more reason there an excelent anogolgy for well "What is adulthood?" most of us don't feel like we've got so far to go whether we're 18 or 80.

Em's had to grow up a lot in the last three hundred years and she had to do it very quickly. She's a lady, a dangerous one, and she will walk through the fires of hell for her brother.

Any questions? Comments? I missed this story.
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